I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate

Procrastination: everyone’s guilty of it. Page requirements, NoodleTools citations and inevitable deadlines are always looming. You wake up most nights in a cold sweat, seeing your laptop opened up to the assignment that is due tomorrow staring back at you, judging you, waiting for you to get your sh*t together and just get it over with.

But remember, a good paper is a rushed paper. Am I right, ladies and gents? You disregard your teacher’s warnings to not leave your assignment to the night before, because it requires “critical thinking” with a shrug of your shoulders, knowing full well that you’ve done it before and you’ll do it again. Regardless, you’ve  probably experienced the following stages of procrastination more than once throughout your high school career:

Two Weeks Before: You set reminders on your phone of the due date, but always end up clicking “remind me later,” until the alarm drives you to delete the reminder altogether.

One Week Before: As you settle into bed, proud of finishing all your assignments for the next day, one of your friends texts you asking how long your essay is. The essay you haven’t even started yet.

Five Days Before: Tonight is the night you’re definitely going to start the essay. When you take out your laptop, you tell yourself “I’ll just watch one YouTube video.” But you end up watching David Dobrik vlogs until 2 a.m.

Three Days Before: You immediately respond “yes” when your friends ask if you want to go get food, because you convince yourself you’ve been productive. And by productive, you mean putting your heading in MLA format.

Two Days Before: After a “quick” snack break and a Target run, you return to your document with only a header and actually start to write. You finish your introduction paragraph, and successfully refrain from  using the A, B, and C thesis statement format, rewarding yourself with checking your feed on Instagram, sending snap streaks and editing one (or five) pictures on VSCO.

24 Hours Before: During your free period, you find quotes for one of your body paragraphs… only three more pages left to write!

12 Hours Before: After hours of writing your atrocity of a paper, it’s 3 a.m. and now it’s time to print. Well… your printer is broken. Time to cry and regret all of your life choices.

10 Minutes Before: You race into the school library, shoving sleepy-eyed students out of the way to get to the quick print station. Barney the printer has come in clutch once again. You did it. You really did it.

60 Seconds Before: You stride confidently into class waving your finished paper triumphantly in the air. They all said it couldn’t be done, but you proved everybody wrong.

In class, your teacher introduces a new assignment due in a month. You think to yourself, “This time it will be different.”