On March 24, Juniors and Seniors filled the auditorium, unaware of the powerful message they were about to receive. Anti-Date Rape Advocate Katie Koestner quickly captivated the room by sharing her powerful story with a sobering truth.
In 1990, during her first week of college, Koestner was sexually assaulted by a male classmate she had been dating. Despite her initial feelings of confusion and shame, she chose to speak out, becoming the first woman in the United States to publicly share her experience as a date rape survivor on the cover of TIME Magazine in 1991.
Senior Maria Dziekanska said, “The presentation was really important for students, especially seniors going to college. It’s a real problem that happens more than we like to think it does and everyone needs to know for their own and others’ safety.”
Koestner’s advocacy extends far beyond her speeches. Through her organization, Take Back the Night, she empowers survivors to share their stories and fight against sexual violence. Her website, katiekoestner.com, offers educational resources, support networks and tools for schools to promote awareness and prevention. The website also provides guides on consent and bystander intervention.
WHS Counseling Director Falynn Balassone was the driving force behind bringing Koestner in to speak. After seeing her speak previously, Balassone was deeply moved by her message. “I told [Acting Principal William Loughran] about how effective her presentation was, and he said, ‘well, let’s get her here,’” Balassone explained. “It was the one assembly that we had where you could hear a pin drop the entire time; no one was on their phone and everyone was locked in.”
Koestner urges students to speak up to help stop future occurrences. “It shouldn’t be an option if I’m worried that the person might do this to somebody else. I had to put myself last and hit the cause first,” said Koestner.
Social Studies Teacher Daniel Farabaugh thinks it’s important for students to hear stories like Koestner’s about this topic. “Sexual violence and domestic abuse is rampant in the Unites States and her message will hopefully open students’ eyes to the larger problem,” he said.
According to Balassone, the school has concrete plans to continue the dialogue surrounding this topic.“We have a Thursday table talk coming up in April, and it’s going to be about dating violence, so we’ll have more resources out.”
Balassone added, “With social media, there’s a whole new world of consent that didn’t even exist 10 years ago. We need to keep with the times and talk about the new definitions of consent.”
Koestner hopes to create a safe space for survivors like herself: “It’s really important to know that there are survivors in every walk of life and you’re not damaged goods,” said Koestner. “Your scars can be like your heroes. You’ve gotten stronger because you’ve been through something really painful and violative, so I say that you can use that as a way to empathize with more people and see that good can come from bad.”
For students seeking support in addition to the school’s counseling services, organizations like njcasa.org and rainn.org offer confidential support through their 24/7 hotline 800-656-HOPE and their online chat.