It’s around 9:30 p.m. and I’m walking back from work. I’m headed toward the train station, anticipating the underpass: My keys assume position between my fingers. It’s dark and silent, with the occasional rumble of the trains passing above me. I think of who could emerge from the darkness ahead: a random man, a crazy ex, a stalker. I think of all of the possible ways I could be attacked and plan my countermove. I feel my fight or flight kick in as I climb the stairs. Like a fighter entering the ring, I emerge from the tunnel, except I don’t feel strong. I feel terrified.
This isn’t paranoia; this is reality women have to face every day. Stories of women being attacked or killed while simply living their lives are forever ingrained in our minds. The stories are endless.
On Aug. 1, Lauren Semanchik was stalked and eventually shot by her ex-boyfriend. On Aug. 22, Iryna Zarutska, a Ukrainian refugee, was stabbed and murdered while traveling on a light rail in Charlotte, NC. On Sept. 12, Dashanna Donovan was killed by a gunshot wound to the head after being chased into her apartment in Queens, NY. Different stories, same plots: All murdered by men, with no clear motive and no one stopping them.
Last month, the same type of tragedy struck close to home in Cranford, NJ, when 17-year-old Maria Niotis was killed while riding her e-bike. Before her death, she had reportedly been harassed and stalked by a former classmate she had already told people she feared. She tried to protect herself, but the system didn’t listen and now she’s yet another victim who was killed at the hands of male-inflicted violence. Flowers, candles and ceremonies can’t change this.
Violence is harder to ignore when it’s not just a distant statistic on a screen, but rather something happening in the neighboring town. We see and mourn Niotis’ face. We become angered by the injustice she faced. But we also question: Why wasn’t her case taken seriously until after she died?
According to friends and family, Niotis attempted to file a restraining order, but in New Jersey, minors can’t file for one the way adults can. While adults can file for restraining orders directly with the court based on a single incident or a credible threat, minors have to prove a “repeated pattern” of harassment and then file a petition to the court, according to WHS Student Resource Officer Michael DiBella.
Essentially, if you’re under 18, you have to wait until your situation reaches a boiling point. And by then, the damage has already been done.
This is unacceptable. Teenagers deserve the same protection from harassment, abuse and stalking as adults.
The law needs to change now. Another teenager shouldn’t have to die to prove this point.
More importantly, we need to confront the ugly truth: The justice system doesn’t just fail women, it protects their abusers.
Over and over again, it chooses leniency for dangerous men over safety for women. Until that change is made, we will continue to mourn lives that should have never been lost.