Perfectly wrapped presents, fresh baked cookies, glittering lights and cheery holiday music. Most see the holiday season as one of the best times of year. However, behind every bit of Christmas magic is an exhausted, overburdened mother whose responsibilities overshadow the cheer the season supposedly brings.
Of course, every family is different and household responsibility can be evenly shared or dominated by fathers. But statistically, the majority of American families fall into a patriarchal pattern where mothers spend more than two times as much time as fathers on unpaid childcare and household work, according to The Gender Equity Policy Institute. With the arrival of the holiday season, women’s loads only intensify with the many traditions, expectations and financial responsibilities they take on.
I have seen my own mother complete the delicate balancing act between her full time job, regular household chores and holiday related activities ranging from cookie baking to endless online shopping. To make the holiday season feel seamlessly special is a great feat, and she completes it every year with total grace. But how could one woman do so much? What I failed to see as a child was the fatigue in her eyes and strained smile she gave when it was all over.
The fatigue and stress is not unique to my mother. Statistics from The American Psychological Association show that women report being significantly more overwhelmed, stretched thin and less able to relax during the holidays. More than emotional weight, health officials with the American Heart Association warn that the chronic stress and overwork that mothers experience during this time can increase the risk of serious conditions over time. It is completely unacceptable for mothers to put their health at risk for the sake of the holidays.
So what can we, as daughters, sons and friends of mothers do to make the holiday season manageable and enjoyable for the women in our lives? You can start by giving them a hug, and telling them you appreciate and recognize all that they do for you.
More than recognition and thanks, you can give them the gift of action. Ask what they need help with and lend a hand. That may be wrapping gifts, helping to address Christmas cards or moving the elf for a little sibling. In this way, you can make their lives a little brighter and contribute to the magic that is the holidays.