Guest Essay

For weeks leading up to their gold medal-winning performance, members of the U.S. men’s hockey team publicly supported the women’s team. Their words and actions affirmed solidarity and respect as the two teams competed side-by-side for Olympic gold.

That is why the now-viral locker room video of the men’s team, laughing at the women’s expense, landed as such a gut-punch. The laughter demeaned, fractured trust and distracted from both teams’ incredible accomplishments.

The question isn’t what the men in the room believe about women’s hockey; it’s what their laughter communicated. Intent does not erase impact. 

Some have come to the defense of the team saying things like “it was just a joke” or “it wasn’t a big deal.” But laughter at the expense of others, especially in a group, is powerful. It establishes an in-group and an out-group. It rewards the joke. It disrespects. Most dangerously, it does not stay confined to a single moment; it shapes the culture. 

Laughter in that locker room was expected, almost demanded, by a powerful social code. Pausing or questioning it would have felt awkward, even disloyal. Not laughing along would have risked becoming the next target. But I argue that it would have been worth it. A pause — a second to ask, Do we actually think this is funny? — could have elicited a response that met the moment in a more dignified way and contributed to a culture of pride and inclusion.

Since then, a few members of the men’s team, including Charlie McAvoy and Jeremy Swayman, have apologized and acknowledged that their behavior was disappointing. These apologies demonstrate accountability and reinforce a culture of respect. Maybe more of them will follow their lead.

Rather than escalate tensions, Hilary Knight, U.S. women’s team captain, redirected attention away from the laughter in the locker room and back to her team’s historic accomplishment, emphasizing the extraordinary achievement of winning Olympic gold and praising her teammates. In doing so, she reclaimed the narrative with dignity, focusing not on the slight itself but on the values and success that deserve to be remembered. 

This did not happen at WHS, but its lessons belong here. We have dozens of teams — sports, clubs, activities, classes and more. But at the end of the day, we all wear blue. We are all Blue Devils. We are all on the same team. When one of us is demeaned, it should matter to all of us — whether it happens on a playing field, in a classroom, in a cafeteria or in a group chat. Mutual respect doesn’t require friendship; it requires agreement that harmful behavior won’t be tolerated. The lessons here transcend sports. 

The decisions we make about how we treat others create the culture and expectations of a community. Let’s take accountability when we mess up. Let’s choose to protect one another’s dignity and honor one another’s efforts. That is the kind of team we all deserve to be on.